One young woman's true story of growing up in Gloriavale Christian Community the repressive cult led by her grandfather, the charismatic and controlling Hopeful Christian.

In this personal account, Lilia Tarawa exposes the shocking secrets of the cult, with its rigid rules and oppressive control of women. She describes her fear when her family questioned Gloriavale's beliefs and practices.

When her parents fled with their children, Lilia was forced to make a desperate choice: to stay or to leave. No matter what she chose, she would lose people she loved.

In the outside world, Lilia struggled. Would she be damned to hell for leaving? How would she learn to navigate this strange place called 'the world'? And would she ever find out the truth about the criminal convictions against her grandfather?

'A powerful and revealing book...' Kirsty Wynn, New Zealand Herald

'An affecting parable and testament, in the most commendably secular senses.' David Hill, New Zealand Listener