For anyone who’s ever heard a motivational speech and immediately vomited, a guide to ignoring society’s obsession with success

Sit around, leave sh*t all over the place, drink, forget about deadlines . . . being lazy is pretty easy. The real art in being chill is when someone without any real ambition can fly under the radar, and live unscathed by the never-ending reams of self-help and inspiration rained upon anyone who just wants to watch Netflix. The magical place where doing what comes naturally keeps the do-ers at arm’s length. Rather than doing less, do just enough. So screw TED Talks, Instagram images of a beach that say "Fail Better" in gold cursive, marathon training, tips for keeping plants alive, and all self-aggrandizing social media. Ninety-nine percent of people on this planet are just pretty average. We're doing our thing. Trying to get out of bed in the morning. Hey, are you awake right now? Reading a sentence? You know what? That's success in my book. Being a person is hard enough without all the pressure to be good at it.