It's samurai vs. aliens!; He's too busy fighting aliens, the yakuza and unemployment!

R to L (Japanese Style). It's samurai vs. aliens!; He's too busy fighting aliens, the yakuza and unemployment! Men, Be DORKs
Hasegawa's Top 5 Reasons for Hating Valentine's Day
1. Giant robot space women can't appreciate your earthling sensibilities.
2. You may think your sweet wrestling moves are cool, but women just think you're perverted.
3. Sometimes you wish girls would just fall out of the sky, but it sucks if they land on you!
4. Sure, some call it peeping, but I call it, ''Admiring from a distance (through a telescope).''
5. If you give her chocolate she'll just get fat (and then fall out of the sky on you).