Every artist is an unhappy lover. And unhappy lovers want to tell their story.

Ex-tax collector and author of two unpopular novels Bradley Pearson wishes to devote his retirement to writing a masterpiece. But the doorbell and the phone keep ringing, and every ring brings with it an ex-wife, a friend in need, a sister in trouble or a young woman seeking a teacher. And so, dusty, selfish Bradley is plunged into the muddles and mysteries that will end in his doom.

**‘A source of wonder and delight’
Spectator

‘Her humour is all the more achingly funny because she keeps it on the edge of our vision’
Daily Mail

WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY SOPHIE HANNAH**